The tower pierced the top of the sky, having thrust its way through the clouds like a sword through the skin of the earth, and smoke that blocked the sun hugged the dark spires that jutted out from the walls like splinters, digging their way far beneath to find the secrets of space. Even the tallest of these gray, soot-darkened walls could not turn the idle eye from the blade’s silent, disruptive tyranny, and soon all things would be as black as the pool from which they originated, disintegrating rapidly into the dust to acknowledge their own lack of uniqueness, and rising, finally, toward the smoke.
These things the messenger knew, just as he had known when he had set down upon the worlds before this one, just as he had once known his Lord God as a bright, shining star. Yes, he knew these things. The where, the when, the how, had yet to be determined, and whether this damnation came by form of blood, blinding lights, disease or famine was of no great interest to him.
This red light that broke through the smoke from the sun dimmed and sent a hazy cast over everything upon the hill, lowering below the horizon in a slow, knowing way that the messenger felt he could not envy, but did. He wished to achieve even so much as an inch of the grace that sent the day tumbling downward into darkness, and then he remembered. Vile thing, it was, but still so beautiful. He supposed now, head resting upon his arms, arms resting upon the splintered surface of a tall fence, that all things, spiritual, physical, matter-less, contained some amount of corruptibility.
“The seeds are empty.”
He turned his head, and that face smiled back at him, her face, all pale and mystical and tired. She stood bare beneath the folds of a single, knitted layer of crimson-colored cloth, and the messenger found himself turning, for the sake of his own dignity, back toward the tower. When no reply came to counter her statement, she took a step forward toward him, but stopped at the trees to run her fingers over the trunk. “Their mothers are poisoned by the sun, and soon they will die, leaving each and every womb devoid of heirs. All seeds are empty; not even the weeds have survived.” The messenger watched the last of the light travel along the ground away from him, and wanted to follow it. “Have you come to save these people, Stranger?”
Silence followed, and the messenger considered the option of not responding, watching the tower with a kind of reserved malice, but even as he thought of the integrity that came with saying absolutely nothing at all, his mouth was opening. This disease was contagious.
“No, I am but a messenger,” said he, self-proclaimed.
“Oh? But what of correcting their sin-driven ways? Not your department of expertise?”
To this, the messenger turned again slowly, and found his eyes fixed helplessly, unwillingly. She leaned now against the withered bits of the dying tree, her eyes alight with the fading smoke-light, skin bright like hot flames, and her smile relaxing the muscles of the earth into tender, needy shreds of beauty. He felt his shoulders, too, fall, and could do little but watch in amazement, in horror. “No,” she continued, giving the messenger look of speculation before turning her head upward toward the tower. “I imagine its not. Whoever sent you here must know his boundaries. No civilization has the ability lift itself from its ashes with the assistance of one, shining savior, despite the wishes of its people. However, what the people have done to this earth is irreversible. These ashes are merely ashes, too scattered to find a phoenix, and soon, very soon, they will all be as the trees, doomed to darken, diseased, and fall.”
“So, Messenger,” She approached, standing on the tips of her toes and placing her hands atop the fence to peer over the city. “What sort of message have you for the lost souls? Words of wisdom, prophesy? Are you lost, Messenger?”
Lowly, the messenger spoke, “You mock me,”
“I find you amusing. You are so old, so strong, and yet there is such youth in your eyes. Your bones are white, and your skin has never seen the touch of a blade, your mind merely acquainted with such a concept as poverty. Messenger, you know nothing of age. All you know is your duty, your faith.”
“From what obnoxious, indecent well have you spouted? Are you of my Lord? Are you from the one they know as the Interloper, Sinner, the devil?”
“I am none of these.” She turned, the last of the light falling onto the graceful image of her slender, sickly form, aged by disease but warm against the earth. Amusement gone, she peered up at him, and time seemed to fall from them, like water from a tipping glass, and she replied, “I am I.”
[http://todropagain.blogspot.com/]
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
Insipience
Insipience.
Introduction [Part 1] :
CREDITS ROLL
Pair of women’s eyes slowly open after sleep, look around tiredly, and the woman sits up, leaving the camera with a view of the back of Noah’s head, out of focus.
CREDITS
Back to Parker, we see the woman sitting up on bed, staring out toward the small bits of light coming in through the blinds on the window, feet dangling off the edge of the bed and looking slightly solemn. She stands, pushing herself tiredly from the edge of the bed, lifting something off her finger and gradually placing it onto the nightstand.
CREDITS
The camera gets a view of the bathroom door [possibly Natalie’s bathroom], where light pours out onto a darkened hallway, and Parker is just barely visibly upon the toilet, head in hands. After a few moments of solemn quiet, she looks up from her hands and into the wall, her head lifting out of the camera’s view to reveal only her lips and bottom of her nose.
CREDITS [Last]
Parker stands outside the doorway, looking back at Noah with a look of soft uncertainty. Slowly, she turns and shuts the door behind her. A time-lapse effect will make the door shutting a transition between dawn and mid-morning, with Noah on the bed in a different position.
Introduction [Part 2] :
Side angle: Noah wakes up, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. He takes a moment to wake up, then turns his head to look at the place where Parker should be. Noah sighs, looking somewhat frustrated at having woken up to another morning of misplaced words and arguments, and runs his hands through his hair.
Noah: [A little too loudly] Parker?
No answer comes, and we take a few moments to enjoy the silence.
Side angle (down hall): We see Noah opening the bedroom door and looking down the hall, calling out Parker’s name, though a bit softer this time.
Side angle (through doorway): Noah walks past the doorway
Front angle: Noah moves into the kitchen, giving the fridge, the counter and the cabinets a good look over before pausing. He realizes how silly he’s being, that she’s probably just gone somewhere to get over their argument, and gives in, proceeding to tiredly pull out a cabinet and take out a box of cereal.
Back angle: Noah sits on the bed again, his back turned to us as he wolfs down his bowl of cereal, the camera zooming in on the back of his head until, after a few seconds, Noah stops, noticing what’s on the nightstand. Slowly, he sets down his bowl, carefully reaching out and grabbing the item.
Zoom: We go in for a shot of the ring in Noah’s fingers as he gives it a calm look over, then turns it over briefly.
Upward angle: Noah stares down at the ring with a look of short patience and intensity, cutting to a zoomed in vision of Noah’s eyes still looking.
Noah: Hey, Nicolas, has Parker called you or anything?
Doorway: We Noah slowly pacing his kitchen, phone to his ear and eyes on the ground. The camera is ever so slowly closing in.
Noah: Are you sure? Got any phone messages or anything? [pauses by the sink, waiting] [rubs the bridge of his nose] I woke up this morning and she was just gone. She didn’t leave a note or a number or anything, and she didn’t have to work today. [waits] You know Parker; it’s not like her to forget something like that. [turns and leans against the sink now, sighing] All right, an hour.
Scene 2:
Side angle: Noah and Nicolas sit at a table beside a window, with Nicolas munching leisurely on coffee cake, not looking too incredibly worried, while Noah stares at him, trying to work up courage.
Front, atop Nicolas’s shoulder: Finally, he puts his head in his one hand and groans.
Noah: We fought last night.
Nicolas: I figured as much. You haven’t told me what it was about.
Noah: [eyes shift slowly out the window] Does it matter?
Nicolas: I guess not. If it’s not important, it’s not important. Did she say anything about where she might go?
Noah: [looks back toward Nicolas] No. I never thought she’d leave. The only people she really trusts are you and a couple of her friends, one in particular.
Nicolas: Parker isn’t someone who gets upset about little things. [half-jokingly] What the hell did you do to her?
Noah: [reaches into pocket and pulls out ring] She left this on the nightstand. [half-tosses the ring onto the table and the two of them watch it for a long, silent moment]
Nicolas: She might have gone to her parents. [watches Noah look up to object and speaks before he can] I know, I know. It would be her last resort. You should talk to a few of her friends and see if they know anything. One thing’s for sure: [now sighs, sounding worried] she’s definitely not with me. Sorry, Man. Update me, would ya? She’s like a sister to me.
Scene 3:
Shot of Colette’s house as music begins to play, then clips of her pouring tea, drinking tea, practicing instrument, reading books, trying on dresses, applying lipstick, etc…
Voice over Noah: Colette [ ] is the ideal personification of society’s standard of sophistication. Born as the only female child of the [ ], Colette has always been urged to be a prim and proper shadow of her mother, and has, thus, always been the life and spirit of her father’s annual Christmas parties. Every pore of her perfectly tanned complexion oozes, seeps and sweats perfection, each movement… deceptively graceful and trained, fingers and hands moving with precision and each word slipping with ease from lips that have practiced and mastered the art of silent seduction. Always aware, always enthusiastic, that is Colette [ ].
Colette: Well, Noah. It’s been a while. Doing well?
Noah: [stares, non-to-patiently]
Colette: I’ll take that as a no. What is it? I suppose that you’re not here to catch up, are you? Parker?
Noah: She’s gone.
Colette: Woo-hoo, big surprise. It’s about time. I’ve always told her she deserved better than an ill-tempered city tramp.
Noah: [stares, beginning to look angry]
Colette: [unscathed] What? Oh, you’re surprised? Look, Noah, this shit was a long time coming. So, what are you here for, then? Don’t get me wrong. I love rubbing this in your face, but I’ve never-
Noah: [interrupts] Where is she?
Colette: [pauses] I have no idea.
Noah: [raises voice] Cut the crap. She hasn’t spoken to Nicholas. She didn’t talk to me, so where is she? She wouldn’t just leave without telling anyone, so she must have come here.
Colette: [looks serious] Even if I was being intentionally secretive about where Parker may be, why do you think she would come to see me?
Noah: [voice still raised] You’re, like, her feminist-battery recharge. She talks to you about everything.
Colette: [sighs] Noah, I haven’t seen Parker for at least a month now. [pauses, looking upset now] It was quite an episode. I told her that she needed to find more suitable husband material, and she disagreed, and quite enthusiastically, if I may add. Perhaps she finally took my advice, though, if you want my honest opinion, I don’t believe that her leaving really had anything to do with you. [Noah looks up, and Colette smiles] I can only hope that it did. In any case- [sips tea] –I think you’ll understand that now, when I ask you to keep me posted, I’m not asking because I care about what happens to you.
Noah: [staring, unsure what to say, unsure of what to do] Yeah, sure.
Scene 4:
Scene 5:
Voice over Noah: And then God said, “Let there be light.” The words of the Catholic gospel had surrounded Parker from the day she hit her fuzzy hospital blanket up until the day she had moved out of her suburban, religious home, quietly wriggling from the grasp of her parents while they slept inside the pages of their beside bibles. No one had seen her slip away, but now, they say, they wish they had kept her in chains. Since then, the word of God had been only an occasional visitor, still helping himself to a bed she had silently, and always, kept vacant for just this purpose, and Parker never had much to say on this subject. I sometimes wish I’d had the bones to ask.
Noah stands at the door, inside, slowly looking up to see Mrs. Mancini standing at the end of the entryway, and both watch one another silently.
Mrs. Mancini: Hello, Noah.
Noah: [almost nervously] Good afternoon, Mrs. Mancini. [shuffle] How’s your husband?
Mrs. Mancini: Out. [half-heartedly] It was good timing. We don’t have soda, since Parker left. You don’t mind coffee?
Noah: Has Parker come to see you within the last few hours?
Mrs. Mancini: [watches] [turns slowly and walks past the entry into a living area] I haven’t seen Parker. She should be with you.
Noah: [follows, not saying anything until Mancini is in sight again][watches her clean and organize the space] I haven’t seen her since last night. She didn’t leave a note, so I thought she might have come here.
Mrs. Mancini: You’re wrong. She hasn’t been here to see us in quite some time.
Noah: [pause] How long?
Mrs. Mancini: [facing away] A few months now, actually. [drops into a chair, still facing away]
________[ flashback scene with Parker telling Noah that she’s leaving, possibly with subtitles instead of words]
Mrs. Mancini: She’s lied to you, hasn’t she? [touches the side of the chair] She’s been… so difficult to manage lately; never rebellious, never especially opinionated, at least, not around us… only stubborn. Usually, I’m able to read her, even if only a little, something that her father never even attempted until recently, and still, her thoughts are a mystery to me. It’s all of the lies, you see. I don’t quite understand it, but it’s as though she’s been hiding something, not directly lying, I suppose, so much as not sharing an entire truth.
Noah: So, Parker really hasn’t been here?
Mrs. Mancini: No. Not since her father and her had an argument.
_______[flashback of father yelling at Parker, with Parker sitting without emotion and listening]
Noah: [says nothing]
Mrs. Mancini: You have to understand, Noah: I never hated you. I never trusted you, either. I never really enjoyed your company, but hate… no. I’ve never hated you. [pauses and chuckles] It’s strange, we see things only when they are forced onto us, and by then it’s usually too late. [ slowly lets her head fall into her hands] I may never see my baby girl again, and now, of all times, do I choose to tell you the honest truth.
Noah: What were they arguing about?
Mrs. Mancini: Her religion, of course. Her father- her father had said some terrible things, but not like this, never like this, and Parker, bless her soul, she turned her cheek like a sort of… insufferable, sacrilegious angel. [pauses] I’m sorry that I’m being so vague. I don’t like to think about it. Parker’s really not with you?
Noah: No. I’ve asked her friends, I’ve asked you. No one’s seen here. I’ll need to find her before dark.
Mrs. Mancini: Have you checked the hotels? She may have rented to a room. I don’t imagine that she’ll want to visit much of anyone, in the state she’s been in.
Noah: [slowly takes a step backward] I’ll do that. Mrs. Mancini. Thank you for your time.
Scene 6:
[Noah is seen walking out of the house, shutting the door slowly and then turning around, where James is seen leaning against the wall. Noah notices him, slightly startled, but regains himself quickly]
James: [punches arm twice, roughly] Two for flinching, mother fucker.
Noah: Yeah, sure.
James: Got a reason why your sneaking around while Dad’s out?
Noah: Coincidence. I was wondering where-
James: Parker was, I know. You’ve got quite a phone tree. Nicholas got a hold of me. How the fuck he got my cell phone number, I have no idea.
Noah: So?
James: [takes a step forward] My parents and my sister have never had a strong relationship. You’ve always known that. About three months ago, Dad said he wanted her to go to a religious university rather than the community college. He fancied the idea of getting her away from you, and maybe even getting her to settle back into her faith, although, how they had ever imagined she was into the faith is a mystery.
Noah: She said no.
James: He screamed so fucking loud, he must’ve woken up the earth. Anyway, Parker left without saying anything, not even to me.
[while James is speaking, there’s another flashback of Parker backing away, and then turning toward the door to leave]
James: A few nights ago, she called me. She told me that she wasn’t really feeling like herself, like she didn’t belong here anymore. I don’t know whether it was just Parker talk. You know, she sometimes says things that she doesn’t necessarily mean. She’s human, but she sounded so… I don’t know, what’s the word… convinced that something wasn’t right.
Noah: Was it me?
James: No, dumb shit. Something else. She said she was colder than usual, and that sometimes… look, this is going to sound weird, but she said she’s been having these weird dreams, and when she woke up, her limbs would be numb, but not asleep. Immobile. It wasn’t just the physical shit, either. She was… tired, said she felt empty all the time. Well, no, not really empty. She felt full, almost to the point of bursting. If you think about it, they’re kind of the same feeling I guess, like when you meet after running two different directions at the equator.
Noah: What does any of this have to do with anything? Parker never told me about any of this. None of it matters. We had an argument, all right? It was a tiff. It was a spat. Now she’s gone. She didn’t disappear because her limbs were getting numb. She left me because she was angry. If all of you are covering for Parker, just tell-
James: [raises voice] Shut the fuck up. This is exactly why you need to open your ears and listen. Stop putting up your goddamn walls and think about what I am telling you, Noah. Parker didn’t want to be here. None of this shit mattered to her anymore. [pause] Last I heard, she was going to try and find some Zen place, some place to be with her thoughts, I don’t know. She said that she liked your living room. It apparently has some cool lighting or some shit like that. I think it’s bull, but… this was important to her.
Noah: I’m worried fucking sick. James, just tell me everything you know. I need to find her. I need to know that she’s going to have a place to sleep tonight.
James: [stares a moment] I’m sure that bed or sidewalk, Parker wouldn’t mind sleeping on either as long as she could still feel people, not saying it’s a good thing, but- [pauses] Look, Noah, Parker didn’t elaborate on how she really felt to me. She was clear, but she was having a hard time articulating her thoughts. She sounded tired, but despite her emotions, despite the earth and gravity and everything else, that everything would be all right in the end. She just had to ride it out, keep looking for whatever it is she was looking for. Maybe you should wait too.
Scene 7:
Noah stands at the base of the couch in his living area, staring down at the cushions as though ready to take a seat, but he continues standing, watching with eyes only half aware, the other half of him someplace deeper in thought. Finally, deciding not to give up, he takes the ring out of his pocket and takes a look at it, feeling it on his finger and finally putting it onto his wedding finger.
Voice over Colette: You? Again?
Scene 8:
Colette: [pouring tea] If you’re here, I expect you’ve come to deliver news on Parker.
Noah: Did Parker ever say anything to you about feeling “Full”?
Colette: [stops pouring, looking up from her tea] What does that have to do with anything?
Noah: I don’t know. Whenever I hear it, I feel like my ears open up, like I should know what it means.
Colette: You should. Parker was always blabbering on about being closer to people, about how being far away from people made her feel… isolated, cold. Good riddance, I say. We could do without all the pushy people-pleasers and the jerks on the subway. Fuck them.
Noah: I didn’t come to ask about you.
Colette: … Well, I guess it’s about time someone told you. I don’t suppose she ever mentioned her medication to you?
Noah: Since when?
Colette: Oh, ages ago. Therapists thought spending childhood in an unhealthy environment consisting mostly of argumentative fathers and soft-spoken mothers had basically messed up what could be considered her “normal coping mechanisms”. She’d always had difficulty dealing with stress. By the time she was in fifth grade, her parents were popping her full of migraine pills every morning before school. Parker had never liked the way it had made her feel. Detachment from the world and the people around her had always been one of her greatest fears, and her medication was designed to do exactly that. Of course, she had never liked feeling unhappy and stressed out either, but it was better than feeling the alternative: which, as the case was, nothing at all.
Well, around December of last year, Parker decided to stop taking it, said the stuff made her feel… empty. Even though she hated her headaches, there were worse things, like not knowing the difference between happiness and sadness, between love and friendship. There were better things to look forward to. [silence] Does that pretty much answer your question?
Noah: And you thought that this was a good idea?
Colette: It wasn’t my decision. You seem to be over-estimating my control over Parker. She came up with this idea all on her own, but for the most part, Parker was fine once she stopped. She was definitely happier, and she smiled more, so… I guess, in the end I was for it.
Noah: How about lately?
Colette: There was nothing too unusual about her behavior, other than the usual Parker habits that became normal after that December. She was enthusiastic about everything. She read books, watched movies, stressed out less and less as the time went on. [pause] You know, Parker… hasn’t really seemed stressed. I mean, up until last month, even despite all the shit with her parents (yes, I knew, don’t whine), she didn’t seem especially strained.
Noah: Colette, I need you to think. What else did Parker say the night you had that argument?
Colette: What are you getting at?
Noah: I know all this already. I need you to tell me how she was acting.
Colette: She asked a whole bunch of questions. She asked me what I thought about people, what I thought about God. Naturally, I told her that people were idiots and that God was a big load of crock, but she wanted more. She seemed like she was looking for something, then she got uncomfortable and didn’t say anything for a while. I asked her what was wrong and she said that she was thinking about what you might say. I said, “about what?” She said, “about how I’ve been feeling lately.” I didn’t really ask, guess I didn’t think it was important, but that’s when I told her that she should dump you. [looks at clock] It’s late. You won’t catch a bus until two. We have a guest bedroom, if you’re interested.
Scene 9:
Noah watches the wall in the dimness of lamplight, eyes open with the door open and shining light on him, and he’s waiting. Colette walks and stops at the doorway.
Colette: There was something else too, I just remembered.
Noah: [sits up to look at Colette] What is it?
Colette: Sometimes, I like to take Parker out to dinner. It used to be our girl’s night out, you know. We would go to Eddie’s Italian or some other rich-people place, mostly because we enjoyed the atmosphere. Parker usually didn’t mind going, but about three months before today, she didn’t want to go anymore.
Noah: You think that it has something to do with her disappearing.
Colette: No. I think I just realized that the reason she didn’t want to go is because I spent so much money. She told me that those things… just didn’t matter anymore.
Scene 10:
[camera switching between angles on Noah, the painting and Parker, never on both]
Noah: Parker, what the hell? Why did you throw this away?
Parker: [watering a tiny bud beside a window] [shrugs] I don’t need it anymore.
Noah: What are you talking about? This is amazing! We should hang it up and charge people to come and see it.
Parker: [smiling] Not everything is about money, you know.
Noah: All right, so maybe we won’t charge, but… seriously, why was it in the trash?
Parker: I don’t need it. It doesn’t matter.
Noah: It’s an amazing piece of art.
Parker: [laughs] It’s paint on canvas, silly. It isn’t anything. What’s important is what it represents.
Noah: [is quiet] Come on, don’t do that. Your art isn’t nothing. It’s everything.
[Parker turns around, and what was a bud has now bloomed into a plant, but the emphasis is upon Parker, who is smiling, not at all surprised]
Parker: It is merely a means to an end, a symbol of mankind’s ability to individualize freedom.
Extra scene: ??
Flashback: Parker runs up to Noah, out of breath, a side shot where she hands him the envelope. There is an upward shot of Nicholas over Parker, where he looks at the envelope and says something, probably a question. We shift to a downward angle past Nicholas’s shoulder, where Parker looks up and puts her fingers to her lips.
Black screen: “It’s a secret.”
Introduction [Part 1] :
CREDITS ROLL
Pair of women’s eyes slowly open after sleep, look around tiredly, and the woman sits up, leaving the camera with a view of the back of Noah’s head, out of focus.
CREDITS
Back to Parker, we see the woman sitting up on bed, staring out toward the small bits of light coming in through the blinds on the window, feet dangling off the edge of the bed and looking slightly solemn. She stands, pushing herself tiredly from the edge of the bed, lifting something off her finger and gradually placing it onto the nightstand.
CREDITS
The camera gets a view of the bathroom door [possibly Natalie’s bathroom], where light pours out onto a darkened hallway, and Parker is just barely visibly upon the toilet, head in hands. After a few moments of solemn quiet, she looks up from her hands and into the wall, her head lifting out of the camera’s view to reveal only her lips and bottom of her nose.
CREDITS [Last]
Parker stands outside the doorway, looking back at Noah with a look of soft uncertainty. Slowly, she turns and shuts the door behind her. A time-lapse effect will make the door shutting a transition between dawn and mid-morning, with Noah on the bed in a different position.
Introduction [Part 2] :
Side angle: Noah wakes up, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. He takes a moment to wake up, then turns his head to look at the place where Parker should be. Noah sighs, looking somewhat frustrated at having woken up to another morning of misplaced words and arguments, and runs his hands through his hair.
Noah: [A little too loudly] Parker?
No answer comes, and we take a few moments to enjoy the silence.
Side angle (down hall): We see Noah opening the bedroom door and looking down the hall, calling out Parker’s name, though a bit softer this time.
Side angle (through doorway): Noah walks past the doorway
Front angle: Noah moves into the kitchen, giving the fridge, the counter and the cabinets a good look over before pausing. He realizes how silly he’s being, that she’s probably just gone somewhere to get over their argument, and gives in, proceeding to tiredly pull out a cabinet and take out a box of cereal.
Back angle: Noah sits on the bed again, his back turned to us as he wolfs down his bowl of cereal, the camera zooming in on the back of his head until, after a few seconds, Noah stops, noticing what’s on the nightstand. Slowly, he sets down his bowl, carefully reaching out and grabbing the item.
Zoom: We go in for a shot of the ring in Noah’s fingers as he gives it a calm look over, then turns it over briefly.
Upward angle: Noah stares down at the ring with a look of short patience and intensity, cutting to a zoomed in vision of Noah’s eyes still looking.
Noah: Hey, Nicolas, has Parker called you or anything?
Doorway: We Noah slowly pacing his kitchen, phone to his ear and eyes on the ground. The camera is ever so slowly closing in.
Noah: Are you sure? Got any phone messages or anything? [pauses by the sink, waiting] [rubs the bridge of his nose] I woke up this morning and she was just gone. She didn’t leave a note or a number or anything, and she didn’t have to work today. [waits] You know Parker; it’s not like her to forget something like that. [turns and leans against the sink now, sighing] All right, an hour.
Scene 2:
Side angle: Noah and Nicolas sit at a table beside a window, with Nicolas munching leisurely on coffee cake, not looking too incredibly worried, while Noah stares at him, trying to work up courage.
Front, atop Nicolas’s shoulder: Finally, he puts his head in his one hand and groans.
Noah: We fought last night.
Nicolas: I figured as much. You haven’t told me what it was about.
Noah: [eyes shift slowly out the window] Does it matter?
Nicolas: I guess not. If it’s not important, it’s not important. Did she say anything about where she might go?
Noah: [looks back toward Nicolas] No. I never thought she’d leave. The only people she really trusts are you and a couple of her friends, one in particular.
Nicolas: Parker isn’t someone who gets upset about little things. [half-jokingly] What the hell did you do to her?
Noah: [reaches into pocket and pulls out ring] She left this on the nightstand. [half-tosses the ring onto the table and the two of them watch it for a long, silent moment]
Nicolas: She might have gone to her parents. [watches Noah look up to object and speaks before he can] I know, I know. It would be her last resort. You should talk to a few of her friends and see if they know anything. One thing’s for sure: [now sighs, sounding worried] she’s definitely not with me. Sorry, Man. Update me, would ya? She’s like a sister to me.
Scene 3:
Shot of Colette’s house as music begins to play, then clips of her pouring tea, drinking tea, practicing instrument, reading books, trying on dresses, applying lipstick, etc…
Voice over Noah: Colette [ ] is the ideal personification of society’s standard of sophistication. Born as the only female child of the [ ], Colette has always been urged to be a prim and proper shadow of her mother, and has, thus, always been the life and spirit of her father’s annual Christmas parties. Every pore of her perfectly tanned complexion oozes, seeps and sweats perfection, each movement… deceptively graceful and trained, fingers and hands moving with precision and each word slipping with ease from lips that have practiced and mastered the art of silent seduction. Always aware, always enthusiastic, that is Colette [ ].
Colette: Well, Noah. It’s been a while. Doing well?
Noah: [stares, non-to-patiently]
Colette: I’ll take that as a no. What is it? I suppose that you’re not here to catch up, are you? Parker?
Noah: She’s gone.
Colette: Woo-hoo, big surprise. It’s about time. I’ve always told her she deserved better than an ill-tempered city tramp.
Noah: [stares, beginning to look angry]
Colette: [unscathed] What? Oh, you’re surprised? Look, Noah, this shit was a long time coming. So, what are you here for, then? Don’t get me wrong. I love rubbing this in your face, but I’ve never-
Noah: [interrupts] Where is she?
Colette: [pauses] I have no idea.
Noah: [raises voice] Cut the crap. She hasn’t spoken to Nicholas. She didn’t talk to me, so where is she? She wouldn’t just leave without telling anyone, so she must have come here.
Colette: [looks serious] Even if I was being intentionally secretive about where Parker may be, why do you think she would come to see me?
Noah: [voice still raised] You’re, like, her feminist-battery recharge. She talks to you about everything.
Colette: [sighs] Noah, I haven’t seen Parker for at least a month now. [pauses, looking upset now] It was quite an episode. I told her that she needed to find more suitable husband material, and she disagreed, and quite enthusiastically, if I may add. Perhaps she finally took my advice, though, if you want my honest opinion, I don’t believe that her leaving really had anything to do with you. [Noah looks up, and Colette smiles] I can only hope that it did. In any case- [sips tea] –I think you’ll understand that now, when I ask you to keep me posted, I’m not asking because I care about what happens to you.
Noah: [staring, unsure what to say, unsure of what to do] Yeah, sure.
Scene 4:
Scene 5:
Voice over Noah: And then God said, “Let there be light.” The words of the Catholic gospel had surrounded Parker from the day she hit her fuzzy hospital blanket up until the day she had moved out of her suburban, religious home, quietly wriggling from the grasp of her parents while they slept inside the pages of their beside bibles. No one had seen her slip away, but now, they say, they wish they had kept her in chains. Since then, the word of God had been only an occasional visitor, still helping himself to a bed she had silently, and always, kept vacant for just this purpose, and Parker never had much to say on this subject. I sometimes wish I’d had the bones to ask.
Noah stands at the door, inside, slowly looking up to see Mrs. Mancini standing at the end of the entryway, and both watch one another silently.
Mrs. Mancini: Hello, Noah.
Noah: [almost nervously] Good afternoon, Mrs. Mancini. [shuffle] How’s your husband?
Mrs. Mancini: Out. [half-heartedly] It was good timing. We don’t have soda, since Parker left. You don’t mind coffee?
Noah: Has Parker come to see you within the last few hours?
Mrs. Mancini: [watches] [turns slowly and walks past the entry into a living area] I haven’t seen Parker. She should be with you.
Noah: [follows, not saying anything until Mancini is in sight again][watches her clean and organize the space] I haven’t seen her since last night. She didn’t leave a note, so I thought she might have come here.
Mrs. Mancini: You’re wrong. She hasn’t been here to see us in quite some time.
Noah: [pause] How long?
Mrs. Mancini: [facing away] A few months now, actually. [drops into a chair, still facing away]
________[ flashback scene with Parker telling Noah that she’s leaving, possibly with subtitles instead of words]
Mrs. Mancini: She’s lied to you, hasn’t she? [touches the side of the chair] She’s been… so difficult to manage lately; never rebellious, never especially opinionated, at least, not around us… only stubborn. Usually, I’m able to read her, even if only a little, something that her father never even attempted until recently, and still, her thoughts are a mystery to me. It’s all of the lies, you see. I don’t quite understand it, but it’s as though she’s been hiding something, not directly lying, I suppose, so much as not sharing an entire truth.
Noah: So, Parker really hasn’t been here?
Mrs. Mancini: No. Not since her father and her had an argument.
_______[flashback of father yelling at Parker, with Parker sitting without emotion and listening]
Noah: [says nothing]
Mrs. Mancini: You have to understand, Noah: I never hated you. I never trusted you, either. I never really enjoyed your company, but hate… no. I’ve never hated you. [pauses and chuckles] It’s strange, we see things only when they are forced onto us, and by then it’s usually too late. [ slowly lets her head fall into her hands] I may never see my baby girl again, and now, of all times, do I choose to tell you the honest truth.
Noah: What were they arguing about?
Mrs. Mancini: Her religion, of course. Her father- her father had said some terrible things, but not like this, never like this, and Parker, bless her soul, she turned her cheek like a sort of… insufferable, sacrilegious angel. [pauses] I’m sorry that I’m being so vague. I don’t like to think about it. Parker’s really not with you?
Noah: No. I’ve asked her friends, I’ve asked you. No one’s seen here. I’ll need to find her before dark.
Mrs. Mancini: Have you checked the hotels? She may have rented to a room. I don’t imagine that she’ll want to visit much of anyone, in the state she’s been in.
Noah: [slowly takes a step backward] I’ll do that. Mrs. Mancini. Thank you for your time.
Scene 6:
[Noah is seen walking out of the house, shutting the door slowly and then turning around, where James is seen leaning against the wall. Noah notices him, slightly startled, but regains himself quickly]
James: [punches arm twice, roughly] Two for flinching, mother fucker.
Noah: Yeah, sure.
James: Got a reason why your sneaking around while Dad’s out?
Noah: Coincidence. I was wondering where-
James: Parker was, I know. You’ve got quite a phone tree. Nicholas got a hold of me. How the fuck he got my cell phone number, I have no idea.
Noah: So?
James: [takes a step forward] My parents and my sister have never had a strong relationship. You’ve always known that. About three months ago, Dad said he wanted her to go to a religious university rather than the community college. He fancied the idea of getting her away from you, and maybe even getting her to settle back into her faith, although, how they had ever imagined she was into the faith is a mystery.
Noah: She said no.
James: He screamed so fucking loud, he must’ve woken up the earth. Anyway, Parker left without saying anything, not even to me.
[while James is speaking, there’s another flashback of Parker backing away, and then turning toward the door to leave]
James: A few nights ago, she called me. She told me that she wasn’t really feeling like herself, like she didn’t belong here anymore. I don’t know whether it was just Parker talk. You know, she sometimes says things that she doesn’t necessarily mean. She’s human, but she sounded so… I don’t know, what’s the word… convinced that something wasn’t right.
Noah: Was it me?
James: No, dumb shit. Something else. She said she was colder than usual, and that sometimes… look, this is going to sound weird, but she said she’s been having these weird dreams, and when she woke up, her limbs would be numb, but not asleep. Immobile. It wasn’t just the physical shit, either. She was… tired, said she felt empty all the time. Well, no, not really empty. She felt full, almost to the point of bursting. If you think about it, they’re kind of the same feeling I guess, like when you meet after running two different directions at the equator.
Noah: What does any of this have to do with anything? Parker never told me about any of this. None of it matters. We had an argument, all right? It was a tiff. It was a spat. Now she’s gone. She didn’t disappear because her limbs were getting numb. She left me because she was angry. If all of you are covering for Parker, just tell-
James: [raises voice] Shut the fuck up. This is exactly why you need to open your ears and listen. Stop putting up your goddamn walls and think about what I am telling you, Noah. Parker didn’t want to be here. None of this shit mattered to her anymore. [pause] Last I heard, she was going to try and find some Zen place, some place to be with her thoughts, I don’t know. She said that she liked your living room. It apparently has some cool lighting or some shit like that. I think it’s bull, but… this was important to her.
Noah: I’m worried fucking sick. James, just tell me everything you know. I need to find her. I need to know that she’s going to have a place to sleep tonight.
James: [stares a moment] I’m sure that bed or sidewalk, Parker wouldn’t mind sleeping on either as long as she could still feel people, not saying it’s a good thing, but- [pauses] Look, Noah, Parker didn’t elaborate on how she really felt to me. She was clear, but she was having a hard time articulating her thoughts. She sounded tired, but despite her emotions, despite the earth and gravity and everything else, that everything would be all right in the end. She just had to ride it out, keep looking for whatever it is she was looking for. Maybe you should wait too.
Scene 7:
Noah stands at the base of the couch in his living area, staring down at the cushions as though ready to take a seat, but he continues standing, watching with eyes only half aware, the other half of him someplace deeper in thought. Finally, deciding not to give up, he takes the ring out of his pocket and takes a look at it, feeling it on his finger and finally putting it onto his wedding finger.
Voice over Colette: You? Again?
Scene 8:
Colette: [pouring tea] If you’re here, I expect you’ve come to deliver news on Parker.
Noah: Did Parker ever say anything to you about feeling “Full”?
Colette: [stops pouring, looking up from her tea] What does that have to do with anything?
Noah: I don’t know. Whenever I hear it, I feel like my ears open up, like I should know what it means.
Colette: You should. Parker was always blabbering on about being closer to people, about how being far away from people made her feel… isolated, cold. Good riddance, I say. We could do without all the pushy people-pleasers and the jerks on the subway. Fuck them.
Noah: I didn’t come to ask about you.
Colette: … Well, I guess it’s about time someone told you. I don’t suppose she ever mentioned her medication to you?
Noah: Since when?
Colette: Oh, ages ago. Therapists thought spending childhood in an unhealthy environment consisting mostly of argumentative fathers and soft-spoken mothers had basically messed up what could be considered her “normal coping mechanisms”. She’d always had difficulty dealing with stress. By the time she was in fifth grade, her parents were popping her full of migraine pills every morning before school. Parker had never liked the way it had made her feel. Detachment from the world and the people around her had always been one of her greatest fears, and her medication was designed to do exactly that. Of course, she had never liked feeling unhappy and stressed out either, but it was better than feeling the alternative: which, as the case was, nothing at all.
Well, around December of last year, Parker decided to stop taking it, said the stuff made her feel… empty. Even though she hated her headaches, there were worse things, like not knowing the difference between happiness and sadness, between love and friendship. There were better things to look forward to. [silence] Does that pretty much answer your question?
Noah: And you thought that this was a good idea?
Colette: It wasn’t my decision. You seem to be over-estimating my control over Parker. She came up with this idea all on her own, but for the most part, Parker was fine once she stopped. She was definitely happier, and she smiled more, so… I guess, in the end I was for it.
Noah: How about lately?
Colette: There was nothing too unusual about her behavior, other than the usual Parker habits that became normal after that December. She was enthusiastic about everything. She read books, watched movies, stressed out less and less as the time went on. [pause] You know, Parker… hasn’t really seemed stressed. I mean, up until last month, even despite all the shit with her parents (yes, I knew, don’t whine), she didn’t seem especially strained.
Noah: Colette, I need you to think. What else did Parker say the night you had that argument?
Colette: What are you getting at?
Noah: I know all this already. I need you to tell me how she was acting.
Colette: She asked a whole bunch of questions. She asked me what I thought about people, what I thought about God. Naturally, I told her that people were idiots and that God was a big load of crock, but she wanted more. She seemed like she was looking for something, then she got uncomfortable and didn’t say anything for a while. I asked her what was wrong and she said that she was thinking about what you might say. I said, “about what?” She said, “about how I’ve been feeling lately.” I didn’t really ask, guess I didn’t think it was important, but that’s when I told her that she should dump you. [looks at clock] It’s late. You won’t catch a bus until two. We have a guest bedroom, if you’re interested.
Scene 9:
Noah watches the wall in the dimness of lamplight, eyes open with the door open and shining light on him, and he’s waiting. Colette walks and stops at the doorway.
Colette: There was something else too, I just remembered.
Noah: [sits up to look at Colette] What is it?
Colette: Sometimes, I like to take Parker out to dinner. It used to be our girl’s night out, you know. We would go to Eddie’s Italian or some other rich-people place, mostly because we enjoyed the atmosphere. Parker usually didn’t mind going, but about three months before today, she didn’t want to go anymore.
Noah: You think that it has something to do with her disappearing.
Colette: No. I think I just realized that the reason she didn’t want to go is because I spent so much money. She told me that those things… just didn’t matter anymore.
Scene 10:
[camera switching between angles on Noah, the painting and Parker, never on both]
Noah: Parker, what the hell? Why did you throw this away?
Parker: [watering a tiny bud beside a window] [shrugs] I don’t need it anymore.
Noah: What are you talking about? This is amazing! We should hang it up and charge people to come and see it.
Parker: [smiling] Not everything is about money, you know.
Noah: All right, so maybe we won’t charge, but… seriously, why was it in the trash?
Parker: I don’t need it. It doesn’t matter.
Noah: It’s an amazing piece of art.
Parker: [laughs] It’s paint on canvas, silly. It isn’t anything. What’s important is what it represents.
Noah: [is quiet] Come on, don’t do that. Your art isn’t nothing. It’s everything.
[Parker turns around, and what was a bud has now bloomed into a plant, but the emphasis is upon Parker, who is smiling, not at all surprised]
Parker: It is merely a means to an end, a symbol of mankind’s ability to individualize freedom.
Scene 10:
[Noah stares out an open window in his apartment, eyes fixed and chin in his palm. It cuts to a large clip of the living area, showing Noah in respect to the rest of the area, an upward view (possibly from Heather’s stairs).]
Noah voice over: Three days. Three long, endless, fucking days that Parker didn’t come home, and all I could think to do was wait beside the door incase she’d forgotten her key. There were times I would forget what I was doing, wander into the kitchen to get some nuetella, and every time, I thought about how Parker would have been at it first. I would remember, and I would feel sick all over again. I waited.
[The camera shows the phone, ringing. After three rings, Noah’s hand reaches in and grabs it, then shows him lifting it to his ear.]
Noah: [voice low] Hello? [pauses, standing there for a minute and a half or so, making the viewer wait, until finally, Noah slowly lifts his head, looking shocked]
Scene 11:
Black screen: Nicholas: She left this for you… told me to give it to you today.
Noah: Why today?
Nicholas: I think you know why.
[There is a shot of Noah’s face, slightly angry, and then a shot of Nicholas, looking melancholy, but not angry, holding out an envelope. Then it pans back to Noah.]
Noah: [takes the envelope and looks down at it, as though waiting for it to do something]
Straight shot of Nicholas: Nicholas: I didn’t want to tell you. In a strange way, she made it sound like a last request. [waits for Noah to speak, but eventually, after a moment or two of silence, continues] Maybe… it’ll shed a little light.
Straight shot of Noah: Nicholas: Keep me posted, would ya? [begins to walk out]
Noah: [looks up again to watch Nicholas leave the house]
Upward shot of Nicholas walking out of the room, with Noah staring until the door finally slams:
Noah: [looks back down at the envelope, then, with gentle hands, tears open the flap]
Scene 12:
The scene is silent without words or sound or music, perhaps even a buzzing, camera sound. There is a picture of Parker and a letter on a couch, which we see first, then a shot of Noah running from stage left to stage right across the camera. We see the picture again, face up, the abruptly cut to the backside of the picture, empty, aside from a simple, “I’m not afraid anymore,” written in sharpie ink. A shot of Noah, an upward angle, reading the page with a horrified look, slowly lifting his hand to his face, is followed by another shot of Noah running, stage right to stage left across a cross walk. A still shot of Parker, attempting to smile for a camera but faltering, obviously trying not to laugh, followed by a shot of the letter, which reads, in big sharpie letters, “So, don’t be afraid for me. I am alive.” Possible close up on, “I’m alive” Shots of Noah running from different angles, three different ones, until at last we come to a black screen, where the words, “and so are you.” are printed.
We come back to a more realistic shot with Noah crouched by a corner on the balls of his feet, head in his hands. We stay this was for a moment, watching Noah, and then are swept swiftly into another flashback.
Black screen: Noah: What’s that?
Downward toward bed: Parker: [looks up and smiles, aware] A book.
Black screen with words: “About what?”
Downward toward bed: Parker: [shrugs and looks back down] I don’t know, religion and stuff. [stops, then looks back up, eyes bright] Hey, you know, I’m reading about this Buddhist concept, Nirvana. I don’t know if I’m getting it quite right, but out of all the religions we’ve studied, I can’t seem to think of any idea like it. It’s like… a simplification of all things, everything, the entire universe into one being.
Upward at Noah: Noah: So, what? Like a trash compactor?
Parker: No, not quite. It’s like… never going hungry.
Downward toward bed: Parker: [smiling] It’s like being full.
Scene 13:
[begin music]
We again see Noah crouched, hands slowly falling down to sit on his knees, and then, after a minute, he stands, the camera catching an image of his shoes. This is followed by shots of Noah walking, slowly, until he reaches a tunnel.
Upward shot: Noah: [watches the inside of the tunnel]
The camera moves to show the tunnel, then Noah once more as he begins to step forward.
Voice over Noah: I feel her now, my hands wrist deep in darkness. I see her light: hot, white, blinding light, itching me. I see her face in my face. I see her scars on pavement, scabby lips, cracked, and I know that my fingers can’t touch hers, my arms can’t wrap around her, but she is alive. She is with me still.
END.
CREDITS:
All Bands
All Characters
Thanks to’s:
[Noah stares out an open window in his apartment, eyes fixed and chin in his palm. It cuts to a large clip of the living area, showing Noah in respect to the rest of the area, an upward view (possibly from Heather’s stairs).]
Noah voice over: Three days. Three long, endless, fucking days that Parker didn’t come home, and all I could think to do was wait beside the door incase she’d forgotten her key. There were times I would forget what I was doing, wander into the kitchen to get some nuetella, and every time, I thought about how Parker would have been at it first. I would remember, and I would feel sick all over again. I waited.
[The camera shows the phone, ringing. After three rings, Noah’s hand reaches in and grabs it, then shows him lifting it to his ear.]
Noah: [voice low] Hello? [pauses, standing there for a minute and a half or so, making the viewer wait, until finally, Noah slowly lifts his head, looking shocked]
Scene 11:
Black screen: Nicholas: She left this for you… told me to give it to you today.
Noah: Why today?
Nicholas: I think you know why.
[There is a shot of Noah’s face, slightly angry, and then a shot of Nicholas, looking melancholy, but not angry, holding out an envelope. Then it pans back to Noah.]
Noah: [takes the envelope and looks down at it, as though waiting for it to do something]
Straight shot of Nicholas: Nicholas: I didn’t want to tell you. In a strange way, she made it sound like a last request. [waits for Noah to speak, but eventually, after a moment or two of silence, continues] Maybe… it’ll shed a little light.
Straight shot of Noah: Nicholas: Keep me posted, would ya? [begins to walk out]
Noah: [looks up again to watch Nicholas leave the house]
Upward shot of Nicholas walking out of the room, with Noah staring until the door finally slams:
Noah: [looks back down at the envelope, then, with gentle hands, tears open the flap]
Scene 12:
The scene is silent without words or sound or music, perhaps even a buzzing, camera sound. There is a picture of Parker and a letter on a couch, which we see first, then a shot of Noah running from stage left to stage right across the camera. We see the picture again, face up, the abruptly cut to the backside of the picture, empty, aside from a simple, “I’m not afraid anymore,” written in sharpie ink. A shot of Noah, an upward angle, reading the page with a horrified look, slowly lifting his hand to his face, is followed by another shot of Noah running, stage right to stage left across a cross walk. A still shot of Parker, attempting to smile for a camera but faltering, obviously trying not to laugh, followed by a shot of the letter, which reads, in big sharpie letters, “So, don’t be afraid for me. I am alive.” Possible close up on, “I’m alive” Shots of Noah running from different angles, three different ones, until at last we come to a black screen, where the words, “and so are you.” are printed.
We come back to a more realistic shot with Noah crouched by a corner on the balls of his feet, head in his hands. We stay this was for a moment, watching Noah, and then are swept swiftly into another flashback.
Black screen: Noah: What’s that?
Downward toward bed: Parker: [looks up and smiles, aware] A book.
Black screen with words: “About what?”
Downward toward bed: Parker: [shrugs and looks back down] I don’t know, religion and stuff. [stops, then looks back up, eyes bright] Hey, you know, I’m reading about this Buddhist concept, Nirvana. I don’t know if I’m getting it quite right, but out of all the religions we’ve studied, I can’t seem to think of any idea like it. It’s like… a simplification of all things, everything, the entire universe into one being.
Upward at Noah: Noah: So, what? Like a trash compactor?
Parker: No, not quite. It’s like… never going hungry.
Downward toward bed: Parker: [smiling] It’s like being full.
Scene 13:
[begin music]
We again see Noah crouched, hands slowly falling down to sit on his knees, and then, after a minute, he stands, the camera catching an image of his shoes. This is followed by shots of Noah walking, slowly, until he reaches a tunnel.
Upward shot: Noah: [watches the inside of the tunnel]
The camera moves to show the tunnel, then Noah once more as he begins to step forward.
Voice over Noah: I feel her now, my hands wrist deep in darkness. I see her light: hot, white, blinding light, itching me. I see her face in my face. I see her scars on pavement, scabby lips, cracked, and I know that my fingers can’t touch hers, my arms can’t wrap around her, but she is alive. She is with me still.
END.
CREDITS:
All Bands
All Characters
Thanks to’s:
Extra scene: ??
Flashback: Parker runs up to Noah, out of breath, a side shot where she hands him the envelope. There is an upward shot of Nicholas over Parker, where he looks at the envelope and says something, probably a question. We shift to a downward angle past Nicholas’s shoulder, where Parker looks up and puts her fingers to her lips.
Black screen: “It’s a secret.”
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